I just can’t get this character out of my head. Two-Score+TenPence just cannot stop writing poems about himself.

The greatest performer around,
His talents and skill are renowned,
His prowess, he tells us,
Is as out sized as his phallus,
With this gnome, you’re never let down.

~

An artist of poem and song,
Known never to do any wrong,
A good natured gnome,
Who widely does roam,
Spreading the word of his dong.

~

There’s a story I hope you have heard,
But first, your loins you must gird,
Your world will move,
As you jam to his groove,
By verse, let your passions be stirred!