Gnomish Alcoholism

Two-Score+TenPence is a prolific little dude, both in his composition and his drinking. Sometimes he even writes and sings about drinking. If you call him a leprechaun though, he will find you, and sing you out of existence.

From lands not too far he has come,
A diminutive drinker of rum,
His name is Two-Score,
And should you offer him more,
And he’ll drink with you ’till you are both numb.


Fine purveyor of spirits and ale,
Allow me to tell you a tale,
I met a fine honey,
And she took all my money,
But next time I’ll pay without fail.


A drink or two couldn’t go wrong,
to accompany this merry song,
Please charge me a penny,
Of cash, I haven’t got any,
But I shall not be staying for long.

I can’t stop writing these limericks. I have to find another short form poem to teach Two-Score, or he’s going to drive everyone in the party insane.